19/6/11

it's 3.xx am in the morning
but i just can't sleep yet
have to hand in a cerpen to syahnaz by monday
it's tomorrow..
but i'm lack of time =(

so many homework given
i don't even have time to finish it
haiz....
i need a rest desperately...

i get lots of pressure from people around me
just hope that i can still deal with it

too many things are holding me back
when only can i start to move on?
sigh...

15/6/11

i feel so bad
terribly bad =(
it's like all my fault

if it wasn't me
she wouldn't be suffering now
i just wanted to make things right
i hope she really understands

someone told me she cried so badly
this just breaks my heart
i couldn't stand imagining her hiding in the corner sobbing so hysterically
i just feel bad
but i couldn't do a thing to help

i wouldn't want to think about it now
but i can't
perhaps we just need more time

i really hope she will get better soon
and me too
she has great goals waiting for her to achieve
i wish her all the best
i really hope that she will be living better than me in the future
only then she will find real contentment and pure happiness

12/6/11

i wanted to scream so badly =(
why things became like this??
why is it like that?
it's like things were never easy for me...

i really wish 2012 will come soon
so that it will cover all the ugly truths
all secrets remain secrets

i'm suffering so badly now
but i couldn't do a thing...

after all i'm just a miserable, sad wimp
nothing more than that

10/6/11

away for three days
and so many things happened
most of them depressing
some of them confusing
i dont know what i am thinking now
i'm so confused
can i just stab myself with a penknife??

i think the gang is now official
we dont know what will happen
we can just hope that nothing as bad as that night will ever occur again

these few days i've been thinking
do i deserve all of this?
i don't have what you want
i'm just a wimp...
all you did for me
it's not worth it
because i couldn't give you anything in return...
i really wanted to break up..
i think this would make our life better
but since you wanted
i would give it a try
but i cannot guarantee

华文比较能表达我的感受
我的心还是很不定
我还是很心烦。。。
我不知道这样做对没有。。。
我不知道我会变成怎样。。。
唉。。

不知道啊
心烦。。
想死。。

6/6/11

it's fast
three days have passed
going to melaka tml
but not very excited actualli
if my frens are not going thn this trip is just pure meaningless
zzzzzzz

it is quite strange to say it this way
holidays always make you feel like going to school
staying at home is just so boring
life have never been emptier..
lol but u will desperately ask for holidays in school...
i guess friends are just too important for us =)

just when i thought things were being fine
i realized that we actualli have a lot of problems that need solving
we will get through it though
however i wonder if things will go smoothly as we wanted it to be or not
im starting to feel a bit unsecure actualli after the 'discussion'
we don't know how things will flow..
so just appreciate this moment
im sure we'll be okay ^^

and a small demand from a special person
here you are
i typed what you wanted me to:
i like u so much
dun leave me <3
lol

i think its real that you can only find true friendship through hardships
friends that are realli there for you
and i think i've found mine =)

i will stop here...
time to pack my bags
will be gone for three days =)

3/6/11

i know it's been a very very long time i vanished
and now i'm back
just felt the sudden urge to update it
and andy's clarion call
kept asking me to update
so perhaps this might be a form of peer pressure xD

typed in english because i wanted to
chinese is just time-consuming and unnecessary
ignore the mistakes please

one more week left for the school holidays
and i haven't even finished my karangan yet
i swore so badly that i wanted to start my revision during the holidays
i wanted to catch back up
but it seemed like i failed
i'm obsessed with my pc
just hope that i could get rid of it soon
pray for me
i realli wanted to start reading textbooks

speaking of books
recently i've been reading tragics
first the book thief
and just hours ago i finished a thousand splendid suns
both are great masterpieces
i highly recommend =)
going to start reading to kill a mockingbird
then water for elephants
i wonder if water for elephants is a tragic story too
the title sounds sad...

i think things are going ok between the two of us
let just hope that nothing will come between us =)

however not in a realli good mood recently
it's just that too many things happened these days
but there's something worth celebrating
i think i've found myself a few true close friends =)
cheer for me
hehe

it's late
off to sleep
bye and have a peaceful sleep =D

9/2/11

it's been a while

but it seems like no one came to my blog

obviously

lol

decided to use english in this post

much easier and convenient

however u might encounter grammar mistakes while you read

try to ignore those mistakes lahh =)

first of all

today's my brother's birthday ^^

but he may not have the chance to c this post

*he's a game-addict, no time for blogs

he finally turned 10!!!
still childish though

but still wish you a happy birthday

hope you will stay strong and be optimistic everyday =)

everyone in the family loves you <3

it's sooyoung's birthday tomorrow =)

haha

wish her all the best in her career ^^

the cny holidays ended

school started today...

however i came back on sunday

to join my friends and went for an angpao-hunt

but actually i'm not really happy...

it's just..

i don't know how to explain...

wasted RM300++ on my air ticket

but i think i didn't earn back a good trip

the second day was quite empty actually

if i have to say...

however the movie

i great movie

highly recommended =)

please watch it if you have time

cause it's quite long...

just listened to oh! male version

personally i think it's nice xD

but still it's a bit weird...

lately i'm not in a good mood..

not to say sad..

but certainly unhappy plus a bit of sadness

always felt that nobody ever bothered my existence

lol

i'm so quiet in class today... xD

i got a strange feeling when i see people posting things on fb

those strange things

like they wanted to be alone

wished that they could just vanish in the crowd...

i wonder if they really think that way??

or are there any messages behind those posts??

it just didn't feel right

everyone needs friends right??

lol

however my current relationship with my friends

it's not really good as it was before

but it's not really a big deal to me now

when the time comes and requires me to let go

i will

there are still people i will meet in the future

having a test tomorrow

i'll stop now

have to go for a quick revision

then off to bed

nitez and sweet dreams everyone =)